Midwest Orange

Renewable energy

2008-05-06T09:44:00.000-04:00

President Bush Attends Washington International Renewable Energy Conference 2008

"...[L]et me start first by telling you that America has got to change its habits. We've got to get off oil. And the reason why is, first, oil is -- dependency on oil presents a real challenge to our economy. As economies grow -- and we want all our economies to grow; we want people to be prosperous, we want people who are living in poverty to be able to grow out of poverty. We want there to be general prosperity, but as economies grow, until we change our habits, there is going to be more dependency on oil."

--President George W. Bush, March 5, 2008

Yeah, thanks for that, George. Really cleared things up for me.

Basically what the Bush administration has done, and it's not much, is make new rules. For example:

* The Renewable Fuels Mandate will increase the use of renewable fuels by 500 percent, requiring fuel producers to supply at least 36 billion gallons of renewable fuel in the year 2022.
* The Vehicle Fuel Economy Mandate specifies a national mandatory fuel economy standard of 35 miles per gallon by 2020, which will save billions of gallons of fuel and increase efficiency by 40 percent.

Well that's great! "YOU VILL USE DEM UND YOU VILL LIKE IT!!"

Unfortunately, since Bush took office, the Federal Government has spent about $12 billion total to research, develop, and promote alternative energy sources. $12 billion in eight years. Meanwhile they blow that much in what, a month over in Iraq? Less?

It's not enough to set goals. You have to then do what's necessary to MEET those goals. Otherwise it's just bullshit.

This is very much like the No Child Left Behind Act. Noble idea, badly underfunded, planned, and executed.

2008 Bombers

2008-03-24T15:14:00.003-04:00

Another season is nearly upon us. This year I will be coaching a new team at St. Xavier. Same school, but we're adding a team to accommodate all the players -- we are up around 180 kids in our high school program this year!

So we're adding a team called Varsity Reserve. It is composed primarily of seniors who for one reason or another are not playing varsity. I have 34 players; 28 are seniors and the rest are juniors.

This year my assistant coach will be Joshua Wellen (left, in the photo). I'm excited to have Josh with me. Last few years he was the defensive coordinator for the varsity squad. He played his college ball at Ohio State and is a St. Xavier grad too. He's a great guy, a great friend, and a great coach.

After the first few practices it is clear we will defend. Whether we can score remains to be seen. But we're gonna rattle some cages, that's for sure. :-)

Our first game is Tuesday April 1 at home against Lakota East. Follow the Bombers all season long at bomberlacrosse.com.

Who's on first?

2008-02-24T07:06:00.003-05:00

About this President thingy... with Ohio's primary coming up soon, I am going to be registering as a Democrat for the first time in my life.

GASP! you say, what's a nice Republican boy like you wanna do a thing like that for? I'm glad you asked. Let me just say this about that, a Republican in upstate New York and a Republican in southwest Ohio are two entirely different animals.

The other thing is, my world view has grown and matured (it sez here). Getting sober, getting married, and working in the corporate world have all changed my outlook on life.

Lastly, the GOP of my youth only vaguely resembles the party we see today. "Conservative" just doesn't mean what it used to.

And so, we come to the 2008 election. Despite my efforts editing this video about Hillary, I am not sure I can get behind her candidacy. The reason is Barack Obama. I believe Obama has a Kennedy-like charisma that can effect change in both foreign and domestic arenas.

Does he have a lot of experience? No. Let's not forget, Hillary hasn't been a senator all that long, either. In terms of experience in this context, being a first lady is better than nothing, to be sure, but not enough to be a deal breaker.

I think his lack of experience can be an advantage. He doesn't have the bad habits other candidates bring to the table, either.

Look, the President doesn't sit down with a calculator and a pot o' coffee and balance the budget (for example). He delegates such things to staff, like a good manager should. He considers the input of his staff of advisors and makes informed decisions. He then puts a face and a voice on those decisions.

And when it comes to face and voice, Obama has few peers. The man is a fuckin' rock star. People will follow this man. I believe he can heal some of the divide that has handcuffed the House and Senate for so long, and then they can get some real shit done.

I just don't see Hillary having that kind of pull. She is too much of a lightning rod -- people either love her or they hate her, there's very little in between. With Obama, even the folks who don't agree with his policies grudgingly admit he's difficult to dislike. Hillary could probably still get some things done by main force, but isn't that more of the same sort of politics we've sadly gotten used to? It's just the other side of the aisle.

I would have voted for John Edwards, but...

As regards John McCain: He has his positives. First of all, I admire his grit in withstanding being a POW. Anybody who survives that deserves honor. And I like the way he's not afraid to take a stand on issues that are unpopular with the party line.

But he has too many negatives. He's too damn old, for starters. That's not ageism, that's realism. I want a President who can go the distance. Unfortunately, he's gone the distance (ahem) with a few too many women for my liking, it would seem. That's fine for Joe Blow down the block, but not for the POTUS. A person who doesn't handle his personal relationships well isn't likely to handle international and domestic relationships very well, either.

I don't see McCain as a uniter, either.

My vote goes to Obama. Maybe in 2000, a guy like him wouldn't have done so well, but I think he's got what we need in 2008.

Fire Marvin?

2007-11-06T06:09:00.000-05:00

Marvin Lewis is obviously a good coach. His track record speaks for itself, both before he came to Cincinnati and what he did when he got here.

What's wrong with the Bengals is not "first and foremost" Marvin Lewis, by NO MEANS.

Is he a perfect coach? No. Who is? He makes mistakes. So do I. So do you. I coach high school lacrosse, been a head coach for several years. I make mistakes all the time. I learn from them. I am a much better coach today than I was four years ago. But I still make mistakes all the time. I am very glad I don't have the media scrutiny Lewis does, heh heh.

The problem with the Bengals, "first and foremost," remains Mike Brown.

As good a playa as Lewis may be, he can only play the cards he's dealt. And Mike Brown is still the dealer.

Brown is a very likeable fellow. I've met him, very pleasant to talk to. Good public speaker. Dry humor, actually a fairly funny guy in person. EXCELLENT businessman. From a purely business standpoint, the Bengals are a model franchise. He meant everything he said in that interview the other day.

But as a football general manager, he's just awful. Like Lewis, Brown's record speaks for itself. His father was a great football man, who's in the Hall of Fame for very good reason. One of the great ones ever.

The apple, it would seem, sometimes DOES fall far from the tree.

It is possible his daughter Katie, who will take over when he dies/retires, will do a better job of it. (Hell, be tough to do any worse, wouldn't it?)

Perhaps she will simply hire a competent general manager and let him handle the football side of things.

That would be good.

But the bottom line here is, as long as Mike Brown is running that team, he will not (apparently) hire a GM.

And very little will change football-wise.

You might get the occasional anamoly like 2005, if you have a good coach.

But overall, it's gonna continue to suck.

Enjoy.

What an insanely boring blog

2007-08-03T02:23:00.001-04:00

I suck.

Lax season underway

2007-04-04T04:57:00.000-04:00

Now that we've played our first game, it should be noted that the hectic schedule yours truly keeps during these Spring months is well worth the effort. I just love it.

Freshman attack Mike Frank (pictured) had a hat trick against Elder and between him and fellow frosh Robert Leonard, we have a couple likely prospects for the upper levels of St. X lacrosse for several years to come.

There are a couple good defense prospects too. All in all, I would say this is the most prospect-heavy team I've coached. Some of these guys are pretty good athletes.

Buckeye Bitterness

2007-01-05T23:44:00.000-05:00

As the BCS Championship game approaches, the Cincinnati Enquirer has sent a reporter to Glendale, AZ to cover the spectacle. Now, the Enquirer has not typically offered much coverage of Ohio State sports, tOSU being 110 miles away or so. But they make an exception for national championships.

The funny thing has been the blog. The reporter is doing a blog from Arizona and the Buckeye faithful, bless 'em, are all over the comments bitching about how the Enquirer never covers tOSU. Bitter, bitter, bitter.

Wretched excess

2006-10-08T06:42:00.000-04:00

I finally broke down and bought an XBox 360. No, there's nothing wrong with my old XBox. I just wanted the cooler 360 with its triple core (each running at 3.2 gigs) and 512m video memory.

Does this make me a bad person? I'm sure somebody's starving somewhere and could have eaten dried condensed milk for three years on that money. What's left of Sally Struthers is prolly shitting a brick right now.

I don't care. These graphics ROCK.

New car time

2006-09-15T08:05:00.000-04:00

The lease is up on the mighty '04 Aztek, so we need to get a new car. I'd like a Nissan Murano but I don't know if we can stretch that far.

It looks like it'll come down to a Chrysler Pacifica or Chevrolet Equinox.

Your thoughts.

What I hate about soccer

2006-06-09T07:48:00.000-04:00

With the World Cup starting today, let me just first say this: I love soccer. Great game. Played it my whole life. In school, I started at goalie. I could have started at fullback, but we needed a goalie.

As an adult, I played both positions in many indoor leagues over the years.

Here's what I hate about field soccer, as played in the World Cup and elsewhere: OFFSIDES.

Offsides sucks.

The problem with offsides is, it gives the defense an unnatural advantage. This is unlike any other sport. You don't see it in basketball or lacrosse. Hockey has the blue line (which also kinda sucks) but at least that's a permanent line, always in the same place. And it doesn't matter where the defenders are in relation to it.

Only in soccer do you have this stupid rule to prevent the offense from beating the defense downfield. Here's an idea: If you're getting beat, PLAY BETTER DEFENSE!

The indoor game has a few differences, like a smaller field, and the ball can be played off the boards. But the biggest difference is, there's NO OFFSIDES. The game is much more fast-paced, there's more scoring, it's more fun to play or watch. And the lack of an offsides rule doesn't seem to bother anybody. The game plays just fine.

The outside game would, too. Getting rid of the offsides rule would make the game better for everyone (except maybe goalies like Kasey Keller, pictured). So I say, just dump the rule altogether. It adds absolutely nothing to the game. No value whatsoever.

Get rid of it.

Photos from Florida

2006-02-04T22:20:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos from the Florida Lacrosse Classic. Some feature my brother Rich, and some are just general shots of the tournament.

High Peaks went 1-3. We won our last game against Ohio Wesleyan, so we don't have to play Team Toyota in the first round next year, praise Allah.

Nobody I guarded scored on me, and I only took one penalty. Yay! And, I didn't have a heart attack or anything.

Florida Lacrosse Classic

2005-12-31T01:36:00.000-05:00

I'm really looking forward to the Florida Lacrosse Classic. It's in the middle of January in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I'll be playing defense for the High Peaks grandmasters team. Grand Masters is for folks 45+. It's pretty competitive stuff, don't let the age fool ya.

I ordered me a new helmet from Cascade, a CLH2. White shell, royal blue visor, orange chin. That's a preview there to the right.

We gone kick some butte. ALL HAIL HIGH PEAKS!!

Now I'm all pissed off

2005-10-15T09:56:00.000-04:00

Talking about George Dubya hath made me pissy. That means it's time to take Sammy down to his park for his morning constitutional.

Aaaaaaaahhhh...

More Bush arrogance

2005-10-12T06:07:00.000-04:00

How many SC justices had never served as a judge before serving on the SC?

I don't understand how it's even possible. This is the Supreme
Freakin' Court here. Surely there are some qualified candidates with
many years of federal judicial experience available to consider,
without having to nominate someone who has no experience whatsoever.

If you argue "Well, then you'd have to fill a federal bench seat"
I'd say fine, that's the way it should work. The SCOTUS is at the top
of the food chain here. It's not a fuckin' entry-level cookie-
pushin' gig you hand out to old cronies.

What really pisses me off here is Bush's arrogance. He's in the middle of a shitstorm behind the FEMA thing, so what does he do? "Trust me," he says. Trust YOU? I trusted that bastard in 2000 when I voted for him. I trusted him to be a conservative President and control spending. Instead he's blown up spending more than any President since FDR. I trusted him about Iraq. More bullshit. It never stops with this guy. And now he has the gall to say "Trust me."

He's basically thumbing his nose at his base. Dude? Memo: When you're in a shitstorm, that's not a good time to turn against your base, that's when you rally the base. Here's a hint George, when Ann Coulter is pissed at you and says so in public, you're not scoring many Brownie points with your base. She nails it with this closer:

However nice, helpful, prompt and tidy she is, Harriet Miers isn't qualified to play a Supreme Court justice on "The West Wing," let alone to be a real one. Both Republicans and Democrats should be alarmed that Bush seems to believe his power to appoint judges is absolute. This is what "advice and consent" means.

Good for you Ann, you finally said something that didn't make my ass itch.

Zebras screw the Orange

2005-09-18T06:16:00.000-04:00

1:08 left, tie game, Virginia is 4th and inches inside the
Syracuse 10, SU has just used their last timeout. UVa is being
pretty brave here, most coaches would just kick the field goal for
the lead.

As they break the huddle, UVa has TWELVE PLAYERS IN THE HUDDLE.
Eleven line up while the twelth SPRINTS OFF THE FIELD, RIGHT PAST
THE FUCKING REFEREE. Fullback into the line, he gets the first
down, game over.

Before they snapped the fourth down play, the Syracuse coaches
were all doing backflips on their sideline, throwing papers in the
air, screaming at the refs, trying to draw their attention to the
illegal substitution.

There's no guarantee the Orange could have driven the length of
the field in one minute to tie or take the lead, of course, but
they should have at least gotten the chance. The zebras fucked
'em, pure and simple. I had it on TiVo, I replayed it, you can
clearly see the 12th guy sprinting off after they broke the
huddle, right past the ref. I don't know what the ref is doing
here. That is his call, his responsibility, it happened right in
front of his fucking face. The replay leaves no room for
interpretation - it was a clear violation of the rules, cut and
dried, a textbook case. You could show the video in ref's school
for "this is what a 12th man violation looks like."

Boy am I pissed. This is incredibly annoying. This isn't one of
those things where you can debate back and forth the relative
merits of a ref's judgement call, this was clearly and obviously a
horrendous fuckup. I just don't see how he screws that call up, I
really don't.

Kids 'n' puppies

2005-09-17T14:24:00.000-04:00

So this family down the street, their dog had puppies. Cute puppies
too. But these puppies dug their way under the fence and got loose.
Well Bethie found 'em, and put 'em in our backyard until the owner got
home.

Meanwhile, we was babysittin' the kid from next door. Cute kid, too.
Seems he got a three-day suspension from school for telling his
teacher she is a "fucking moron." Now in my day my dad woulda beet the
ever-lovin' shit outta me for such a transgression, but nowadays you
have to be careful not to hurt their feelings. Or something.

So Bethie busts out the honey-do list and puts the kid to work. Yay!
But here's these puppies.

So anyway I tell you all that boring crap to give you context for
these photos here.

Marv rips Pollack a new one

2005-08-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

From midday Enquirer report:

Rookie middle linebacker Odell Thurman continues to receive special attention and intense coaching from [Marvin] Lewis. Lewis said he would like to take the same approach with [David] Pollack.

"I didn’t think [Pollack] would hold out this long," Lewis said. "I think we have fought very hard to eliminate some of these kinds of actions, and it is a shame that it has occurred.

"We have guys who have chosen to be here, which has eliminated selfishness that occurs. If a dollar here, a dollar there is what it comes down to, these players are on the wrong football team.

"And this football team will never be guided by one player. We will not be compromised by one player. We have fought very hard over the last three years to establish that, and the players believe in it. It is what wins in this league."

Lewis said the club has given a great deal of ground to Pollack and his agents.

"At some point, a player must make a decision - enough is enough - and it’s time to play football."

Phew. Don't hold back, Marv, tell us how ya feel! Yike!

Bush fumbles the ball

2005-08-01T23:32:00.000-04:00

I was pretty amused to hear Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, the Senate majority whip, say Sunday, "If the president recess-appoints John Bolton, I can understand why, because he's been waiting a long time to get the person that he believes is best to represent his administration at the U.N."

Freudian slip there. It's not Bolton's job to represent Bush's administration, it's his job to represent you, me, all of the United States of America. Since Mitch McConnell is a fucking moron of the highest order and probably one of the dirtiest-but-not-quite-yet-caught politicians in Washington (for the time being) who basically doesn't know his ass from his elbow unless somebody points the way and shows him how to cheat at it, it's not surprising this lil' slippy-poo should come from him.

And frankly, it's just too fucking bad Bush has to wait. Boo-hoo-hoo, pick somebody who isn't a complete tool and maybe they'll get through, you asshat. It's worked just fine that way since 1948. But nooo, Bolton is part of Bush's good-ol-boy network, maybe you noticed him behind Bush at the lectern giving him the reach-around today.

It's not like we are without representation in New York. Acting Ambassador Anne Patterson is leading the U.N. mission. And an argument could be made that she has/had more credibility there than this bum-rush Bush boy does. They won't give him the fucking time of day, nor should they. He is not supported by the American people. He is only supported by the American president, who has his own credibility issues on the international front. The U.N. knows all this. The rest of the world knows all this. Bush has made a serious tactical blunder today with his muscle-flexing machismo.

Maybe if Sen. George Voinovich hadn't turned on the GOP, they'd have gotten Bolton squeezed through. Maybe Sen. George Voinovich is getting tired of the sleazery that's becoming more and more apparent on a daily basis from the GOP leadership in Ohio. I mean, you don't get too much more Republican than Voinovich. If he's flipped, you got problems, bwana.

Some TV notes

2005-07-29T00:09:00.000-04:00

Since I am under medical orders to remain horizontal in bed "90% of the time if you can," I have been watching a lot of TV. I've been trying out a few shows, and I would like to discuss some TV chatte at this time.

IRON CHEF/IRON CHEF AMERICA
Some of y'all are probably recoiling in horror right now, but I had never seen this show before yesterday. I'd seen some mention of it on RSFC, but just hadn't gotten 'round to watching it.

So I watched Iron Chef. The English subtitles were amusing in their own right. The Chairman or whatever, if you ask me they should call him Head Poofter, not that there's anything rong with that, he's a trip too. But I loved the format of this show. What fun!

However, these two Oriental chefs were creating dishes I wouldn't go within ten feet of on a bet. That they are talented, creative chefs, I will not argue. Obviously they are. I enjoyed watching them work. They are virtuosos. But wouldn't it be more fun if they were cooking real food instead of that... stuff?

Yes, it would. Enter Iron Chef America. I watched that today. This was more like it! The secret ingredient was chicken. Now I'm not a big chicken guy, I'll cook with it sometimes because my wife really likes it. And I mean, I don't *dislike* it. But I was learnin' some things from these fellows.

The great thing about real cooking is not just following a recipe rote, but creating something new that is maybe similar to a recipe, but with your own style or touch to it. And watching this show, it's not that you can steal recipes, it's that you can steal techniques. And it's presented in a much more entertaining way than most of the cooking shows you see (which tend to be more recipe-based).

TRIPPING THE RIFT
Second season started Wednesday night with a double-episode evening of fun over on the Sci-Fi channel. I guess what they'll do starting next week is rerun last week's show at 10, then run a new episode at 10:30.

Well, I never saw Season One, but I wish I had. I have seen the video that made the rounds on the Web a few years back, so I'm familiar with the main characters. Judging by the two episodes I saw Wednesday night, this will quickly leap into my Top 5 favorite weekly shows status. Funny stuff.

NFL LIVE
30 minutes, as opposed to the full hour of Total Access. They should call it Access Lite. I very much prefer Rich Eisen on Total Access.

TOM GOES TO THE MAYOR
I'd never seen it, so I took a look to see what folks are talking about.

Two words: Yuck.

Hall Of Fame candidate

2005-07-15T15:40:00.000-04:00

AP:

Rove's conversations with Novak and Cooper took place just days after Wilson suggested in a New York Times opinion piece that some of the intelligence related to Iraq's nuclear weapons program was twisted to exaggerate the Iraqi threat. Democrats continued this week to sharpen their attacks, accusing Rove of compromising a CIA operative's identity just to discredit the political criticism of her husband.

This is so patently Rove-like a manuever, he is guilty whether he did
it or not. It's the "crying wolf" phenomenon.

If there was a Political Dirty Tricks Hall Of Fame, Karl Rove would
be a first-ballot lock. He's Michael Fuckin' Jordan. He personifies
everything that is wrong about politics in America, I don't care
whether you're Republican, Democrat, or Silly Party.

For his body of work over a long and storied career, they should put
him in said Hall and then throw away the key. For anyone to sit here
and defend this piece of shit in casual conversation is to expose
oneself as a blindly partisan hack. I would have thought such foolish
devotion to an ideology had died with the Berlin Wall, but it would
appear that is not the case. How sad for us.

Jerry Narron is a tool

2005-07-11T04:53:00.000-04:00

In the Cincinnati Enquirer, Narron says he will spend the All-Star break back home in North Carolina. "I'm going to cut the grass, get a haircut and eat some real barbeque with cole slaw on it," he said.

One wonders where he's gonna find some "real barbeque" in Goldsboro, N.C. Nevertheless, the slaw explains a lot.

Reds: Suck

2005-06-23T22:43:00.000-04:00

Here's what new manager Jerry Narron was saying just two days ago:

"I just want to see these guys every night play with intensity," Narron said at Tuesday's news conference at Great American Ball Park. "Play all out every second... We have to play smart baseball. We have to have baseball players. And if guys don't play smart, we have to teach them to play smart."

Reds general manager Dan O'Brien said Narron's style will be different from former manager Dave Miley's approach. Narron said despite the team's last-place status in the National League Central Division, he wanted the opportunity to prove the Reds are better than their record.

Note carefully the use of the word "almost" in this next paragraph:

"I have very high regard for almost every one of these guys," Narron said. "I know they're disappointed in the season, but I think they all believe they can turn this thing around and play much better baseball... I can you tell you I'm consistent; I'll be the same guy on and off the record... I'm very, very intense. Like I said, I have passion for (the game) and a love for it. I want to see the same thing carry over to these players."

What does that make them, Jerry? LOLLYGAGGERS???

Now here's what he said after Wednesday's game:

"I like David Weathers and Kent Mercker," he said. "They're going to give you all they've got every time out, and they're not going to beat themselves. We've got to get the younger guys to do that as well... We've got a good group of guys here... They want to win. These guys are battlers."

I'll tell you what we got here. We got Ray Knight Jr. is what we got here. Gag me with a pitchfork.

Season retrospective

2005-06-21T05:19:00.000-04:00

I suppose I should wrap up the lax season past. We ended up 10-2 after losing to ANDERSON, fer God's sake, although I hear they loaded up for us a little bit.

Postseason team awards are as follows:

Offensive POY: Jordan Fritz (Junior Attack)
The object of offense is to score goals. Nobody came close to scoring as many as Jordan did. Dude was prolific.

Defensive POY: Brett Seifried (Junior Goaltender)
Brett won a couple games for us, definitely the Loveland game.

Bombardier: Joe Radley (Junior Midfielder)
We were given all these criteria for what Bombardier means, I decided it means "He who blows shit up" and that would be Joe Radley.

Iron Man: Jonathan Koop (Junior Midfielder)
Jonathon was Mr. Reliable all year. That young man is gonna be a success whatever he ends up doing in life. In the picture linked above he is second (blue) from the right.

MVP: Jeremy Fritz (Senior Defense)
Jeremy was the heart and soul of this team. He's a leader without being big-headed about it. So many times, he would create a turnover with close defense, pick up the loose ball, and haul ass down the field, eluding frantic forechecking all the way, and deliver the ball safely to the attack. That stuff doesn't show up in the stats. Except the won-loss column, that is. He moves on to the fledgling University of Kentucky lacrosse program, where I have no doubt he will be a leader in short order.

I expect Koop and Radley to compete for varsity spots next season. They're certainly athletic enough. It all depends how much they want it. Will they do the work in the offseason? Time will tell.

STATE CHAMPS ONCE AGAIN

2005-06-04T12:34:00.000-04:00

The mighty fightin' Wildcats of West Genesee have four-peated. That's right, an unprecedented FOURTH STRAIGHT New York state championship.

The 'Cats whooped up on Orchard Park 17-2 in the semifinals Thursday. Today they hammered Section II champ Niskayuna (who were 22-0 coming in to the game) 15-2. That's right, state title game, 15-2. They shoulda used the mercy rule.

Those idiots at LaxPower better get their rankings fixed. If there's any doubt after this week, I don't know what to say. In case you're curious, 'Cats are now 45-1 the last two years, playing one of the toughest schedules in the country -- SECTION III.

Section III, that's central New York, where you go to find the world's best lacrosse.

Fun State Slogans

2005-05-15T05:01:00.000-04:00

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But
Leave Your Money)
Idaho: Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But
The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism
Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax
Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And
Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right
Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To
An Attorney ...
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared!!!

Bombers are 8-0

2005-05-06T23:23:00.000-04:00

Photos from last weekend's 3-2 overtime win over Loveland.
http://eteamz.active.com/bomberlacrosse/albums/index.cfm?id=339684

Some of these pictures were taken with a big zoom lens, and are very good quality action shots. Some offer a wider perspective and a good view of St. Xavier's home stadium, an impressive facility.

I can be seen in a couple of the photos. Bottom row left is me with our goalie, Brett Seifert. Later that day, Brett subbed for the goalie on the JV-A team (who was out hurt) and broke his wrist. He's done for the season.

So our 21-9 win Thursday night was with a new goalie, and of the nine he gave up, probably 6 or 7 were pretty soft. I hope he gets his sh!t together with a quickness, we got three games left and then it's the JV tournament. I've got the varsity goalie working with him, teaching him some things. This kid (the new goalie) is a terrific athlete, probably the best lacrosse player on the team, great attitude and personality too. But he looked like Swiss cheese Thursday night.

Mel Kiper Jr.

2005-04-20T22:49:00.000-04:00

You try to make the best guess you can. It doesn't matter how much research you do, you will be horribly wrong sometimes. The point is, do as much research as you can, and try to be wrong less often than the other guy.

That pretty much paraphrases what I've heard him say about the subject.

I think people need to get the fuck off Kiper. OK, his hair is an abortion, I'll give you that, but otherwise, I find him an entertaining and very well-informed expert on NFL draft issues.

Nobody and I mean NOBODY out-researches Kiper. Dude has so much information stored in his cranium it's a wonder he can remember his own name. It's totally not a matter of having a crack research team providing him with good notes. You watch or listen to him live, he comes out with deep facts right off the cuff about guys I've never even heard of, bang bang bang. This is not a mouthpiece, this a guy who really knows his shit.

Yeah, he's wrong sometimes. So what. Like I said, nobody gets 'em all right in the NFL draft. Kiper is paid to have an opinion and express it with reasonable eloquence, and that is exactly what he does.

Nobody wants to hear him sit up there and say, "Gee willikers, you know what I'm not really sure about that guy. I've never seen him play." Because that's probably true of about half the guys (maybe more) he comments about during Day One of the draft. To say nothing about Day Two. And if he did that it would get old REAL QUICK.

He is paid to have an opinion, right or wrong, and for that opinion to be as well-informed as possible. And this he does better than anybody else in the business. Name somebody better, I'll wait here. Dr. Z? Peter King? Puhleeze. You talk about pompous self-important assholes, that's Dr. Z for ya right there.

Reds after two weeks

2005-04-18T05:35:00.000-04:00

6-5, half a game behind St. Louis in the NL Central.

Joe Randa has been way more than anybody expected. Four taters already. WTF??
Rich Aurilia is about what we expected. Nobody really thought he'd tear it up at the plate, just take care of the ball on defense and contribute occaisionally on offense. He's doing that.
Eric Milton & Aaron Harang are looking good in the rotation. Ryan Wagner is lights out in the setup role. Danny Graves is incendiary as usual.
Wily Mo Pena is beating the shit out of the ball. They need to find a way to get that guy in the lineup, somehow. Every damb day. Every time he yanks a fastball, Junior's hammy starts achin' a little more.

Cubs are another half game back, but not for long -- they're in town starting tonight for a pair. Hey Kerry, come git yer dinner.

Damn, I'm brutal

2005-04-10T16:18:00.000-04:00

I have done woofed the Reds right into a slump. I was braggin' about how they were the only 3-0 team in baseball. Uhh...

Then I start pimpin' Ryan Wagner. Boy is he dealin', I said. Sure enough he coughs up a lead Saturday night.

I need to STFU.

This is disgusting

2005-03-25T22:28:00.000-05:00

I am sooo tired of all this hand-wringing and croc-0-dile tears among the religious right and their GOP toadies over Terry Schiavo. I hope the poor woman croaks soon.

Thursday, I attended an SPJ luncheon featuring Jerry Springer. The Enquirer notes he took the 'wingers to task for their duplicity in the Schiavo case. Good for him, I say. He's absolutely right.

Photos

2005-03-17T05:03:00.000-05:00

Photo gallery!
There are eight pix from the Colerain game, including one of yourz trooly.

Good Ol' Fashioned Butt Whippin'

2005-03-15T23:12:00.000-05:00

That's right, Jeffie's St. Xavier JV White team had their first game
of the season tonight. We played the Colerain Cardinals, it's their
varsity but they're a first-year program. The game was at our place.

We thumped 'em 9-0. My 3-1-2 zone defense was revealed to be
brilliant in its design and flawless in its execution. My 1-4-1
motion offense had the Cardinals running around like they asses was
on fire trying to keep up with all the cutters and picks. We really
should have beat 'em worse but we need to work on our shooting.

Next up: hated archrival Moeller (alma mater of Ken Griffey and Barry
Larkin, et al.)

GOOO BOMBERZ
BEAT MOELLER!!

March, my ass

2005-03-11T18:11:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm officially ready for this winter snow crappe to end. It's the middle of March and it's still snowing? What the hell is that all about?

Most of the time I don't care, how cold can you get walking to the car anyway, know what I mean? But practice is a bitch. Our JV practice field is up on a hill, clear all around, so the wind just blows right across that beeyotch.

It's hard to get excited about lacrosse when it's snowing sideways.

tOSU gets a whuppin'

2005-02-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

Went to Columbus Saturday to watch Navy thump tOSU in lacrosse. Who's in charge up there? They played the game on this intramural-lookin' field in back of the Schottenstein Center. There was a row of stands about halfway down one side, maybe ten rows deep. The fans spilled out onto the edge of the turf around the field.

If the Bucks want to be a Top 20 program (they were #14 preseason) they need to start acting like it. I expected a game of this magnitude, against a Top 10 program like Navy, to be played at Jesse Owens Memorial Stadium. We took a busload of St. Xavier kids up there and we were stunned to see the game played on this practice field or whatever it is. I'm glad Navy kicked their asses.

Boooooo!

Drugs, Jose & Baseball

2005-02-22T23:52:00.000-05:00

We can all sit around and whine about Jose Canseco and Ken Caminiti all we want. Aren't they just awful, those dratted scoundrels.

The truth is, they've done these United States a tremendous service and restored some integrity to the national pastime. Ironic, isn't it? The very people whose integrity we besmirch on Internet chatboreds and sports radio talk shows have been instrumental in spurring baseball (and the player's union, the real scoundrels here) to finally institute a drug testing policy that isn't a fucking joke.

Now if only King George would write a racy tell-all book, maybe we could get baseball's pathetic fiscal inequities fixed, and the game would start to suck a little less for a change.

Thank you, Jose!!

OrangeD00d gets some learnin'

2005-02-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

Saturday I attended an all-day coaching clinic put on by the USL. In a word, "outstanding."

I learned a whole pile of useful drills and techniques I can use to improve the fundamental skills of our developmental players, and maybe refresh some of our advanced players, as well. We also went over some philosophical coaching stuff that was most enlightening.

Who said you can't teach an old dawg new trix.

RSFC 2004 Final exam: Winger bias?

2005-02-18T15:18:00.000-05:00

Waylin has authored a "test" that is an obvious attempt to waylay innocent liberals into revealing their moral and ethical depravities on USENET for all the world to see.

I'll be dambed if I'm gonna let him suck me into THAT mess. Oh hell no.

UC-Southern Miss

2005-02-17T07:21:00.000-05:00

Larry Eustachy was in town Wednesday as his Golden Eagles played the UC Bearcats. The Enquirer's Bill Koch writes:

Bob Huggins and Larry Eustachy were just two buddies out having lunch together Wednesday afternoon down on the river.

"He had iced tea," Eustachy said. "I had Diet Coke. He bought, which is rare. But he knows I don't make squat for money now, so he finally broke that credit card out."

Hours later, Eustachy paid Huggins back by letting him use his undermanned, undersized Southern Miss team to help Huggins' struggling University of Cincinnati squad get back on track...

I thought the UC cheerleaders went a little over the top with the Ellie May Clampett outfits, frankly. Cute!

Time to walk the dawg

2005-02-16T06:23:00.000-05:00

It's six in the damb morning and Sammy wants to go to the park. Nothing unusual about that; we go every morning. It's my way of unwinding after a night's work down at the ol' electron factory.

It's just a couple blocks away. There's an oval track and we circumnambulate that rascal, with Sammy watering the flora every so often. Truth be told, I will sometimes splash a tree myself, just to keep him company. Hell, there's no one around. We're guy-bonding, dammit!

There's something about the peace of that park, and Sammy's unsullied, innocent curiosity in investigating its denizens (both flora and fauna), that provides me with a wonderful sense of perspective. Sammy doesn't give a rat's ass how my day went. It's goin' just fine right now, and that's all he cares about.

Dogs is smart.

Why Bill Belichick is a Gawd

2005-02-12T00:22:00.000-05:00

Nobody, and I mean nobody, game-plans better than Belichick.

You take the Super Bowl. How many people noticed the Patriots completely changed their base defense for this game? The fact seemed to elude the Fox TV announcers. Yet there they were in a 2-5-4 alignment the likes of which I have never seen before, from them or anybody else.

They had two down linemen bracketed by two OLBs, with three LBs behind them and four DBs in back. Right from the start, first play on. It was brilliant, and the Eagles never did figure it out, really. They certainly didn't run on it at all, which you'd think would be a potential weakness of such an alignment.

Yeah, he's good with personnel, drafting and so on. But game-planning, nobody does it better.

Practices begin for X

2005-02-11T11:32:00.000-05:00

Practice started Monday for the St. Xavier Bombers. I'll be working with one of the developmental JV teams (the White team) this year, along with Darryl Williamson. Darryl is a teacher at St. X who just got involved with lacrosse last year. His background is football. Still, coaching is coaching. He knows the kids, which is more than I can say.

We coaches have begun our player evaluations, assessing things like intensity, skills, strength & speed, and conditioning. We're trying to figure out who the best 35 are for the varsity. With well over 100 kids, it's a big job. There will be a number of kids at the JV level this year who would probably be starting on almost anybody else's varsity in this town.

As far as the White team, we're gonna play some defense. We've got some outstanding athletes in that group. As such, we're gonna get after it and press, press, press. Should be fun to watch. Stay tuned.

Go get 'em, T.O.

2005-02-02T10:38:00.000-05:00

The Cincinnati Enquirer's Paul Daugherty wrote in a column Wednesday that Terrell Owens should get some credit for sacking up and playing Sunday on half a leg.

It's true. If it was almost anybody else, we'd be making Willis Reed comparisons. But because T.O. is a little er uh flamboyant, anything he says or does now is scrutinized for the worst possible motives.

I'll make two predictions for this game as regards Mr. Owens:

Don't expect Andy Reid to call any running plays that require Owens to get anywhere near the line and block. One of them Patriots would whip the leg for sure, Karate Kid style.
The first time the Eagles make a first down, the very next play they will throw a home run ball to Owens. Not for the last time. The Patriots secondary needs to be stretched deep if you want to have any hope of beating their defense. You have absolutely got to make Rodney Harrison and Eugene Wilson, the Pats' safeties, help their sub-par corners. Otherwise they will be killing your tight end in the middle, doubling Westbrook out of the backfield, spying McNabb, and that sort of fun shit.

I have no earthly idea why the Steelers did not do this. Roethlisberger can certainly make that throw, and they have two (really, three) excellent wide receivers. Yet they stubbornly continued to try and pound the ball, and Bettis disappeared under a pile of New England linebackers and safeties. Harrison's interception return for a TD, he jumped an out to who? Right, the tight end. Why wasn't he back in a two-deep? Because the Steelers did not force him to be.

Andy Reid will not make this mistake.

2005-02-01T11:59:00.000-05:00

Dan Pompei of The Sporting News sez the Bengals might let Rudi Johnson walk:

Bengals coach Marvin Lewis would be confident going into next season with Chris Perry as his starter. Perry, the Bengals' first-round pick in 2004, didn't make much of an impact as a rookie mostly because of a sports hernia. But Lewis believes Perry will be a special player who could be the team's 2005 equivalent
of QB Carson Palmer this season.

As long as the Bengals are confident that Perry will be healthy, it's not a big gamble. Yes, Rudi is popular. That's not as important as the fact that his durability is a proven commodity.

Perry is probably a better all-around back, and is certainly better-suited to the offense the Bengals are aspiring toward. The days of three yards and a cloud o' dust are clearly over in Cincinnati. What they want is more of a Brian Westbrook type of back, which is what Perry is.

Make no mistake, Perry can carry. He had games at Michigan with 40+ carries. He can pound it. But he can also go catch the screen and make somebody miss in space, which is not Rudi's strong point. How many screens did you see the Bengals throw last year to the tailback? When they did, it was to Kenny Watson, not Rudi.

With the six million it would take to sign Rudi, you can keep Watson, draft a 3rd-stringer in the middle rounds (you know, like Rudi was), and go find some free agent depth for the line on both sides of the ball.

1993 Fiesta Bowel

2005-01-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

I was just watching the '93 Fiesta from ESPN Classic. Syracuse beat Colorado 26-22. What strikes me about this game is how many NFL players came out of it. Syracuse just doesn't get that kind of talent anymore, which is why Pasqualoni needed to go. But both teams in this game were freekin' loaded.

The Buffs, of course, had a young QB by the name of Kordell Stewart. WR was Michael Westbrook. Tight end, Christian Fauria. And speaking of guys playing in the Super Bowl this Sunday, they also had a linebacker named Ted Johnson (with Chad Brown at another LB). Mitch Berger, who punts for the Saints, missed two extra points for the Buffs that day. And they had the udderly dominate Deon Figures.

I don't believe there are any Syracuse players from that team still in the NFL. Two WRs, Shelby Hill and Qadry "The Missle" Ismail, both played on Sundays. Tight end Chris Gedney had a nice career, as did linebackers Keith Mitchell (who played defensive tackle in college) and Dan Conley. Fiesta Bowl MVP Marvin Graves played a long time in the CFL, may still be playing there for all I know (or care). Their tailbacks were David Walker and Kirby Dar Dar. Walker was just hired by Dave Wannstadt to coach running backs at Pitt. Dar Dar had a cuppa joe in the League.

What was nice about watching this game was seeing Syracuse run the triple option the way it *should* be run. Graves was an outstanding option quarterback. (Interestingly, it is Graves, not Donovan McNabb, who holds the single-season passing yards record at Syracuse, with 2,547 in 1993. He wasn't *just* a runner.)

Kordell Stewart was all over the place with his scatterarm, but managed to lead the Buffs to a second half TD that made the game close -- only to see Dar Dar take the ensuing kickoff on a reverse from the Missle and go 100 yards to the hizzouse.

Colorado's offensive playcalling was a little er uh strange at times. Remind me again, what happened to Bill McCartney?

Heard it on the X

2005-01-27T14:27:00.000-05:00

I've got a new 'job! A second job, that is.

This spring I'll be an assistant coach for St. Xavier boy's lacrosse.

St. X is an all-boy's (ODL!!) Jesuit school here in the 'Nati. It is an extremely high-end prep school, one of the best anywhere. Their lacrosse program is easily the tops in the area, one of the best in the state -- indeed, the midwest in general (OK, that's not saying much, but still).

Last year they got beat in the state championship game by a team from Columbus. This is a pretty big program by anyone's standards. They have four teams: varsity, JV, and two developmental teams (Blue team & White team), comprised of around 150 kids in all. 150 kids!!

I will be one of ten coaches. I will probably start out with one of the developmental teams. After a long talk with the head guy this evening though, he may want me to be the third coach on varsity and work with the defense. He wants to install some zone defenses this year, which is cool with me because I am in favor of zone defenses. [insert Syracuse hoops joke here]

Whatever, I'm just happy to get hooked up with a program that takes the sport seriously, and is much closer to my home. Last year, I was driving a half hour each way out to Milford to work with those kids (in a first-year program with very little resources). St. X is like ten minutes, tops, with no highway traffic snarls to worry about, and the facilities are first-class all the way.

It's also a paid position, although that's not why I wanted it (and frankly, I'd do it for free). It pays ~$1,400 for the season, roughly Feb-May. So I might look for some kind of charitable contribution to make with it, or maybe I'll just blow it on a motorcycle and see if I can find a whole new way to kill myself.

We 'bout to get busy,

--Jeff